Perhaps, in retrospect, declaring Jihad was a little hasty. <----Best Post Ever

I'm concerned with our children's world of tomorrow, I have to be honest
with you. Back in my day, if something bothered you, you'd go settle it like
a
man with a pair of nunchucks. Nowadays, no one wants to fight their own
battles.
I was surprised to learn that children have taken to using the word
Jihad as
part of their every day vocabulary, and have incorporated it into
their games
and daily lives. you don't believe me? When Louis told me that
the kids were
playing a new form of Dodgeball, that they had dubbed
"Jihadodgeball", I was
shocked and chagrined. Stupified and mortified.
Curious and interested.The game
starts out normally, like any ordinary game
of dodgeball. Usually, in dodgeball,
the order of elimination is as
follows:

1) Girls.
2) Fat kids.
3) Losers.
4) Everyone
else.
5) The cool kid with the cool shoes and the cool name, like Ryan or
Steven
or Johann.

Well, Louis was playing dodgeball with his
friends in the street, and it
all started normal and fun. The girls were
eliminated fairly quickly, as
expected, and the fat kids were working every
lipid to try to stay alive. Louis,
just failing to make the cut off into the
average kids category, was struggling
to be the last loser eliminated. With
a mighty thump, big Murray Kwok fell to
the ground, his 200 pound 8-year old
frame refusing to continue. Young
Ryan-Steven Chong, age 10, sporting Kobe
Bryant shoes and a Fubu sports suit and
bling, quickly capitalized on the
opportunity and launched the ball at big
Murray's head. Murray let out a
squeal, and quickly raised his arms in front of
his face to protect himself.
It as really quite remarkable timing that the ball
got lodged between
Murray's chins and arms, therefore saving him from
elimination and knocking
Ryan-Steven out of the game much earlier than society
is accustomed too.
Back in my day, whenever the cool kid was eliminated early,
he would have
one of three options: cry, commit a random act of vandalism, or
beat up the
kid who got him out. Ryan-Steven took an entirely new approach to
the
dilemma. His face contorted into a mask of rage as he bellowed "JIHAD!!!"
Big Murray shivered and curled up into a large little ball, all the time
murmuring "No! No!" Both teams quickly amassed around Big Murray and took
turns
pinching him, all the time yelling "Jihad! Jihad!" like wild savages.
I would
have stepped in to help him, but I must say I was caught up in the
moment and
also found myself shouting "Jihad! Jihad!" at the top of my
lungs.Apparently,
Jihad has become the new slang for injustice. I tried
explaining to Louis that
Jihad actually meant Holy War, but he wouldn't
listen. He kept insisting that it
was a playground loophole that allowed him
and his schoolmates to keep the
infidel-children in check. When I asked him
who he considered to be an infidel,
he simply stated girls, fat kids, and
losers. It was hard telling Louis that he
was a loser, but after he perused
the overwhelming evidence that I have been
accumulating over the years, he
finally conceded defeat like a good sport and
accepted his fate. He hasn't
come home from school yet today, but that's the
price he must pay for being
an infidel. I like keeping in touch with juvenile
trends and slang. It's
really the best way to stay young at heart. When they
bring SIKE back, I'll
be ready. Until then, JIHAD!!!

This blog was funny-ass-shit! Ohmigod, I laughed so hard. His link is in the title post. Read more of his posts.