Straylight Run

"Existentialism On Prom Night"

When the sun came up,
We we're sleeping in,
Sunk inside our
blankets,
Sprawled across the bed,
And we we're dreaming,
There are
moments when,
When I know it and
The world revolves around us,

And we're keeping it,
Keeping it all going,
This delicate
balance,
Vulnerable all knowing,
Sing like you think no one's
listening,
You would kill for this,
Just a little bit,Just a little
bit,
You would, kill for this
Sing like you think no one's
listening,
You would kill for this,
Just a little bit,Just a little
bit,
You would, you would
...Sing me something soft,
Sad and
delicate,
Or loud and out of key,
Sing me anything,
we're glad for what
we've got,
Done with what we've lost
Our whole lives laid out right in
front of us,
Sing like you think no one's listening,
You would kill for
this,
Just a little bit,Just a little bit,
You would,
Sing like you
think no one's listening,
You would kill for this,
Just a little bit,Just
a little bit,
You would, you would
....Sing me something soft,
and
delicate,
Or loud and out of key,
Sing me anything.

Don't Be Mad Get Glad

That saying can bite me in the ass, for all I care. Yeah so as you can tell my happy streak didnt last to long. Less then a day, fucking great

Just a Stupid Little Love Song

Just a stupid little love song
Three chords and a microphone
It's just a
stupid little love song
Hip hop and rock n' roll
So sit right down
I'll sing this song to you

No, noit written by me, clearly. I was just listening to some Fefe Dobson, remember her? The cool Canadian chick, that everyone was like she's cool but weird. (I'm having problams spelling right now and I dont know why. I forgot how to spell problam and werid <----they both look wrong, aaaahhh) But yeah, man I wish I bought her album forever ago and that I saw her in concert. We actually planned the trip and all but when I plan things with Whitbier's there's always bound to be issues. Stupid Whitbiers.

Anyways today I was about 15min late for Media Arts. Guess why because I decided to go out for lunch and I was like "whoops look at the time" Meh it was only me and rosa, but Mr.L didn't seem to notice. Then I went for my Art Council Meeting on 2nd llunch and ended up talking to ppl. 2nd lunch suxs ass. I feel bad for those guys and I thought our lunch was bad.

Meh whatever I have work to go to. So excuse me for another 5 hours, I shall be back

Counting Headlights

Liam Titcomb. What an amazing performer/singer/songwriter. Ohmigod. Well I didn't just find out about him (orginally heard of him in Feburary, just a bit delayed), but he's amazing anyhow. Like his music is way more earthly and mellow then David Usher's perhaphs even a different type of mellow (????) Well he's only 17 and I can't believe how good he is. I think tonite and tommorrow nite he's playing at the MOD Club with David. Like he fusking amazing. You can go to his site by clicking the title of this post.



Anyways here's a picture of this amazing 17 yr old. Kinda makes me feel werid that I'm not do anythign extraordinary with my life. Meh, what can I do. Just an average teenager. Meh back to Liam, he has an incredible music background that is just unbelievable. And the fact he looks so much like David is funny. Just his hair and him from the side, besides that David and Liam are way different. Talking about David, my skipping plans to go see him at The FCP, has been foiled. I swear to god that I am cursed. Like there are so many things happening tommorrow that I just cannot skip, grrrrr. I was really looking foward to it. Oh well I can get the new cd, If God Had Curves, and at the same time get Liam's.

Complusive disorder

Ahhhhh! Dylan just labelled me as a person with a complusive disorder! How mean, grrrrrr.

So ignoring Dylan, word on my condition; HORRIBLE

I really think, I may be in a lot of pain, for many foreseen reasons. Nothing I can do as my situation becomes worse.

Arrrggg, I'm so stupid!!!

Ok good half...I'm sorta happy...what? yeah! You heard me!...I'm sorta happy. I've realised not to listen to idiot #1. I never heard so many different stories for one situation, ohmigod.

Well anyways I forced myself to talk to Sheila today. My god and it was only like 2 sentences and before I had to do it, I almost cried. That's how much I don't want to talk to her, to the point of me almost crying. I think everyone else notice I was uncomfortable too. The only reason I talked to her was because I had to give her the picture of her and Pat from last year.

About Pat, .................................................................................
All I know is that he should be in town now.

Um I decided to be happy and optimestic again. But we all know how long that lasts for...not too long. I want to drink and I would like to go to a bar right now, damnit. Oh well. Soon enough. Certified drinker, almost.....I wonder if Air would still talk to me. *WOuld ya?*

I'm suppose to go get my hair cut, by my hair stylist today. Her name is Captain Kate. I'm hope it turns out ok, but first me have to wash hair. And Vacuum, and wash clothes and take care of plants and do some homework. All before 7pm. Long day eh. Tommorrow is even better.

You know what I miss the most.....I miss hanging out at school after school doing nothing. ANd having no time limits. Taking the late bus. Going to 7-11 and to the train and to the forest. Also going to Katie's house. Haven't gone for a while.

I want to go swimming so bad. I found out Rosa has a pool, so I'm calling a POOL PARTY at her house....if its ok with her. Probably a bit of this and that, including drinking if possible. If not we'll find somewhere to drink.

And no it's not like I what to get plastered or crunked, I just wanna have between one drink to 5 drinks. That's my capacity, so far, and that's all I really want. I blame this all on Europe, and Munich's Irish Bar. Heehee! Bottoms Up! Oh and ppl don't chug, especially if its you first don't chug! I still want to learn that smoke thing that Anothny was trying to teach me, agggg it was so cool.....Air will you till be my friend if I smoked occasionally?

Lol. Well more later

Vodka, Vodka, Vodka, Bacardi

Hahhahahaha!!! My weekend was funny shit! Even though I'm tired as hell..I was way to funny and adventrous. Let me give you some insite; underage drinking, Boston Pizza, $1000 order, car driving, possible car driving, insaneness

Let's start with the Saturday:

I went to work la-de-da-de-da. Got to work and looked at the laminates I was suppose to get done for Monday morning. Looked at it and started the pile, but what I didn't realize is that I only had about 75 laminates and this guy from OPG wanted a 1000. I thought to myself I'm so screwed. I took me till about 5 at night (I started a 9) that I should call the guy and tell him there may be an issue with his order. So I call and leave a msg, but then I come up with this semi-great plan of going to other Staples and boring their laminates, good idea wrong timing.
So I decided to drag Ervan along, since he could drive and he's cute and he's fun to talk to. So 5:30 we leave or store having less then 30min to get to three or four othere Staples. We made it to three. Ajax, Whitby, and Oshawa. Ohmigod some of the other Staples employees are complete anals. lol. But we did manage to get about 300 laminates only problem was that we need like 700 more.

Sunday @ Work:

Went to work and decided hey why I do the calculatuions for the order, and it came up to a $1000 . That's when I decided to put the order on hold and called the guy, telling hm that the order is put on hold and we need him to urgently call us. After like 4 fusking hours he decides to call. Urrg finally, so I told him he cost and he calmy said ok lets do 600 and I'll pay for whatever it is. And I'm like okay cool. So then I realized we had to go out to another store again, but we didn't want t go east, again. So Chevonne took her car and went west to 3 Staples store in Scarborough. She got back in the nick of time and I was able to do 487 laminates.

Ok now on to the things that happened in between:

Saturday:

• Was suppose to see a movie with Kyle, but his parents decided to get drunk instead, which made me laugh. And then Ervan took liberty of saying, "You know what they're doing right? They get drunk and they're gonna pound each other and pound hard, and probably all night!" This is coming from an almost 20 yr old. Ohmigod I didnt want to laugh in front of Kyle but it was funny shit. Like you had to be there to hear how Erv said it. Ohmigod it was funny. Kyle decided to not really say aything and countinued to play with hs gameboy sp.
• Erv and me talked about music and his jazz and his oldies. For some reason that was funny too. Just as funny as his car. His car is goin down the street at like 60km/h and it make the sound as if its a race car goin like 240. Like thr vrrrrrrrrrmmmm, vrrrm sound. I was laughing for the first 5 mins in the car.
• Oh yeah Erv was willing to lend me the keys to his mother's car to go out to get lunch, after I told him that I had a G1 only. I strongly considered it, but the cons were so high, I decided no, I would like to have G2 on June 1st, not dermit points.
• Erv was telling me how it would be a good idea to smoke pot. Because it really good way to just realx. If I ever do have a first it will probably be with him (smoking that is). He was also telling me this story about how last summer he decided that he didn't want to buy a new pair of shoes so he went bare foot the whole summer. I was like ohmigod and started to laugh, it was the funniest stiry I heard all month.
• We also got talking about all of our horrible jobs. And I'm hapy that theres someone else in the world that thinks little kids are a pain in the ass. I was telling him my horrible experience at summer camp, and I was like "I was gonna kill them all", and he's like "right on!"

Sunday's randomness:

• Erv wasn't working *tear*
• Kyle told me how soaked he got as he rode home on his bike, I laughed.
• Dylan showed up randomly at my work at 1:30pm and stayed till closed. He also helped me with my 1000 laminate order. We went for lunch at McD's got a normal meal and a happy meal and an extra sandwhich for $4.27. I was so happy. Um then we went out to Boston Pizza and got vodka and something else in our smoothies. I don't think they realized how old we were but it was all good. To 16 yr olds sitting in a bar enjoying n alchol filled drinks..hehe, but Dylan's was stringer then mine, so I took over his cuz he didnt want it anymore, which was like the whole thing. It was so good. Then got dropped home.

I'll talk about that other part of Sunday later

Next time I go out lets see if I can get something with Bacardi in it. Man it's way to easy to drink here.

Ohhhh, and here an ad I found and liked. Its really cool at least I think so.

Why is Kyo so popular?

Muahaha.......no. lol. Sorry wanted to do that all day. Ok so um lets ignore my "Mad Posts", lol. Let's focus on me being happy, okay? Okay! WoOt!

Um first of all this is gonna be short cuz I'm tired and I have work at 9am. So this is technically my post from Thursday, before I got upsetted by randomness.

First of all I just want to know why God thinks its fun for Chapters to never have consecutive magna. Like I'm trying to get to #2 in Ceres and I can't cuz I can never find it. Or how about Lament Of The Lamb?? Or Juvenile Orion?? Eerie Queerie?? I can never finish my series....well with the exception Alice 19th.

Right now I have just started Fruit Baskets its so awesome, I'm loving. What makes me laugh is taht one of the character's name is Kyo just like in Alice 19th. Except each Kyo's personality are dramactically different, showing their other side at random points. Like Kyo in Alice 19th is nice and sweet and blah blah, and when he gets mad he has to restrain form things. Kyo in Fruit Baskets is just stupid and trys to beat Yuki, but always fails and he has a Swollen Head, while once in a while showing is kind side. I like both of these Kyo's. They're pretty entertaining.

Ohmigod! ALice 19th was an aweosme short series. It was only 7 books, but it was so awesome. There was the happy, the sad, the comedy and the dramatic parts, well duh...its a shojo. Well it doesn't say so but Im pretty sure it is. Actually I'm pretty sure all the ones I read are! Ah, I love the fact when you reading and you just can't put a book down, cuz it draws you in so far and you just want to see what happens next. And it relaxing too.

Oh wait I just realized that I'm way off topic...I was talking about Alice 19th and how amazing it is. Well first of all the character(Alice) is a majorly shy and she has a little issue with telling people what she thinks and feels, so usually she's overlooks and all. Alice and her sister end up liking the same guys and here's where all the trouble starts. Shall I go into to the story furher, I think not. If you want to find out what happens just buy it, :P loser!

Ohmigod anime...finding anime is a whole different issue in my life. THis is me on good days when I'm not anime or magna deprived -----> O.o yeah that's me most days. When I am deprived I look more like OoO yeah, ok probably a little out there, meh.

The hardest thing is to watch a series consectuvitly (yes im aware i cant spell, and yes i only ended with a 68% in english, bite me). Like I started Naruto and now I'm on pause...Im at episode 78, arrg so agitating. Gravitation I think I only got to episode 3. Angel Sanctuary epsidoe 3. Chobit episode 8. Ghost In A Shell episode 9. DNAngel episode 1. Hellsing episode 5. Pretty sad ehYou don't know how mad it makes me not to at least finish one series, beside salior moon, lol :D Um but yeah I'll figure this out one day.

But for now I just gonna wait. There's a few other magnas I wanna read like DNAngel and Kare Kano and some other random ones. A few of the animes I would love to start watching is Lain, Evagilion, and X. I have no life anime, magna, school, work, movies, and cons. Horrible way of living. Maybe drinking more milk, not just any milk but chocolate milk, will improve my life. Go chocoalte milk!!!

But I can't wait for the con, cuz it me somewhat-lower prices!!! And seeing wickedly cool costumes and laughing at Kyle, if I see him around.

Hey guess what I'm starting Driving School soon with Peter's Academy. I'm signing up with Air and Sarju. I'm so excited and that means I can go for my G2 on June 1st. Yesssss! Right before the summer, this is soo radically sweet.

Um as I said I'm gonna get going, later days

BITE ME

Yeah this is it..BITE ME...basically if you don't want to hear or read my bitching don't read the 3 blogs below this one. Or you could and you may be in for a luagh or two or may be appalled depending on who you are, don't worry nothing too mind blowing...maybe

Ok thrid and last post... for today

Yep, so I'm not a fucking robot. My seem deathly cold or rude or bitchy but its merely my way of expressing myself. So far the only one...well sorta. My 2nd is finding music that seems to relate to what I feel or felt at one point. This song here is by Hoobastank and it basically relflects how I felt for the majority of my gr 11 yr. I have basically wasted it all away...lol *fake laugh*...oh well

Running Away

I don't want you to give it all up
and leave your own life collecting
dust
and I don't want you to feel sorry for me
you never gave us a chance
to be
And I don't need you to be by my side
and tell me that everythings
all right
I just wanted you to tell me the truth
You know I'd do that for
you

So why are you running away?
Why are you running away?

I did enough to show you that I was willing to give and sacrafice
and I
was the one who was lifting you up
when you thought your life had had
enough
when I get close you turn away, nothing that I can do or say
so now
I need you to tell me the truth
you know I would do that for you

So why are you running away?
Why are you running away?

Is it me? Is it you?
Nothing that
I can do
To make you change your
mind

Is it me? Is it you?
Nothing that
I can do
Is it a waste of
time?

Is it me? Is it you?
Nothing that
I can do
to make you change your
mind

So why are you running away?
Why are you running away?
(What is it I
have to say?)
So why are you running away?
(To make you admit you're
afraid)
Why are you running away?

Um the end.....yeahhhh.....whatever I tried to be "optemistic" I'm gonna go sleep. Oh and btw

FUCK YOU...lol

Ok fine...happy post tommorrow

NXNE...YESSS

Yep I'm behind in school, again...its no longer a biggie for me. I'm just like, GAWD DAMNIT. So I'm gonna catch up on Chem, tommorrow. Math, tommorrow. Everything else is ok, besides the fact I still have a physics lab to write up. Thank god that Avril's voice is relaxing. Yes, I'm listening to Avril, her first album. I just kinda took it away from Yulika....cuz i can. :) What a great big sister I am.

I really wanted to volunteer from North By North East (NXNE) Musical and Film Festival, that would have been tres cool. But I'm too young right now, so i think I'll do it like in a year or two time. I really wish I could but some of the shifts are from like 6-2 or 10-6...ha I can't do that my parents would kill me. Well they will kill me also if they found out that I'm skipping school to see David Usher @ FCP. *shivers* Can't wait. I've got it all planned out.

Meh back to volunteering I would love to volunteer for The Toronto Film Festival in September, it would be tres cool. Right now i guess I should concentrate on finish redoing my resume and filling out those applications for summer jobs downtown. Ahhhh, what a dream it would be working downtown, at a mueasum or a gallery. If I did get accepted, I would work there the five days straight or whatever and then Staples three days a week. Monday, Wdnesday, and Friday 5-9pm shifts. Would work out beautifully....i think, so far.

Link: www.nxne.com

A Flower with "Coke" on the side please

My Flower
Originally uploaded by Mandy No Good.

Hey forgot ot mention that my tulips are growing isn't that great!

My coke

http://photos1.flickr.com/2659580_7bf24d5ecd.jpg">

Yeah today was an eventful day...at least I believe so. Um I went to bed aching and still woke up aching so maybe it's something more then me just sleeping weridly on the mat in the gym. If the pain still there on Tuesday, I'll go see a doctor. Well I may still have to see a doctor anyways, for other stuff. Or maybe I just over reacting about nothing, who knows. As I think almost everyone knows that my two fav drinks in the world are Mountain Dew and Diet Coke. Except I just found out a week ago that there's a thing called ASPARTAME, that leaves a few side effects. Here's a part of an article I found,

Reality is in that twisted Diet coke can. It's poison. It's killing the unborn,
raining tumors and seizures on the population, destroying children,
incapacitating workers, mimicking MS, erasing memory and blinding. Inexorably
Diet Coke visits a plague of 92 symptoms listed by our FDA on a secret report
they'll never show which names diet soda as the first source of aspartame
disease. And yes, Death was one of the 92.

"If you are using aspartame ... and you suffer from fibromyalgia symptoms, spasms, shooting pains, numbness in your legs, cramps, vertigo, dizziness, headaches, tinnitus, joint pain, depression, anxiety attacks, slurred speech, blurred vision, or memory loss - you probably have aspartame disease."

So I'm not much of a happy camper, cuz I have been drinking that shit for a long time! So out comes my fist of fury and my piss off-ishness. Yeah for some reason I always the last to know about something. I always know about the useless things in life, that gets me nowhere (ok not always true, but u know what I mean). Maybe I just over thinking it, maybe. I do get some of the above, but like anyone can get those, so I shouldn't be too worried...

Anyways on to some what better topic. My dad forgot I had volunteering this morning at Pickering High. So it quarter to 8 and I see my dad's room is empty, so I'm like "Oh no, he's already ready!" Yeah he definitly was and he was already at some company doing program and wiring. So when I call him he's like oh take a taxi, no actually walk you'll get there faster. My ass faster! It took me about 40min from Nottingham to Pickering High. I was so pissed off, not the factI had to walk but the fact I had to be late on the account of my dad and that he didn't even say sorry. I had to be there for 8:15. 8:15! C'mon! Arrg so pissed, but at least it get better. Monica the coordinator remebered my face, but she was like "yeah I sorta remember but who are you?"

Myself and some other girl SHannon from DOC, where door greeters. It was fun and I got to meet some random guy, named Ryan. He was cute, but I didnt find out what school he went to, but he was in my grade. It was funny cuz his friend stopped to talk to Shannon, whom he works with. ANd Ryan was like he stops to talk to random girls since when?? SO me and him talked for a bit, then a bit later after the walk was done (MS WALK). He was a cool guy. Um anyways yeah after that got McD's which is an even better story.

I leave mydrink almost full on the counter, my sisters decided to finish their drink then attack mine. SO when I went downstairs to get my drink, I see the lid open....and I was like "OH, NO THEY DIDN'T!!!" I walk outside call both my sisters to me. "Did you drink my drink?" They get all shy and finally say yes. I say had them over (they had recently bought ice and a slushie from ice cream truck) Take to big-ass like of the ice cream and to huge-ass gulps of the slurpie. That was my payback. Now we are even.

Meh I'll end like this....the blog is gettin kinda long. I'll post later.

PS Remeber that N.E.R.D song "oh baby you want me, oh baby you wnat me, oh baby you want me, well you can get a lap dance here for free" I forgot about that song. I loved it so much in grade 8 for some reason, made me laugh so hard the song and the video! BTW its called Lap Dance

And yeah that pic is so not mine, it someone in the same flickr group.

C'mon C'mon

Um slightly confused, on why my whole body aches. Beside the fact after I came home my dad made me vaccum (well after my long shower), went to work, then as soon as I got home I hit the bed....like ploop! Then I woke up about 2h later, still in my work uniform...lol. Then realized the pain in my body got worse, aka

1. tried to sit up, and almost fell back
2. when i coughed or sneeze, my tummy area got a sharp pain
3. cant really move the shoulders, so no dancing to music *tear drop*
4. Btw I'm listening to Galanize-Chem Bros
5. and walking up the stairs

Yeah so there's my pain. lol. ANyways must thank the O'Leary's for me going to Mama Mia and BREAKFAST!!! :D It was so good, but I feel bad I couldnt eat it all like I ususally would. Being on The Fast For Life makes my stomach reduce capacity for the food. So my tummy is all retracted and stuff. It's werid. Last year I went home and forced my stomach to go back to normal, but I couldnt this year...oh well. *Wow even streching my arms out hurt*

I was gonna give a long run down of the Fast, but I dont feel like it...so I'll give u a short rundown.

THE FAST FOR LIFE- Basically to raise awarness.

-Started with us all piling in to the chapel after school...wiht a whole set of "hi's" and "hellos" and "ohmigod"

-Played Stella Oh-la and then got chosen for Liturgy

-My phone rang near the end of liturgy, i try to pretend it wasnt happening and tried to drown out sound by putting it behind my back, then slowly back out of the room

-Juice was the friggen highlight, lol

-Played Amebia, funny ass game. It took us forever to catch ppl, there was a lot of ppl.

-group of 63 teens, larger group then last year. That might have been my groups fault cuz we try to get everyone possible on the fast.

-Played Dodgeball. My god, we're viscious!

-Played music and did some dancing....in socks

-Played Scattergories, I made up the bizzarest shit, got away with a bit. ie What do u carry in u purse. Had to be letter "D". SO I said Dildo, bizarre and we were all laughing like hell, but I got the point.

-Did some funny-ass dancing with Matt (lil grade 10er) and Dylan. We decide to do "grinding" 3-way, it was funny. I'll put a picture of it up later, erin has them all.

-Matt says "Amandla ur so sexy! I want to have ur babies". And looks spiffy in the Jacket he finds in the lost and found,lol

-Popsicles and movie time. Watch Finding Neverland, it was a good movie, but there was way too much hype on it, cuz it wasnt anything spectacular. It was all Johnny Depp's fault!

-Tried to fit body on mat in gym, then I realized I was mainly sleeping on my boobs, which killed, and had to lie on my side.

-Morning, I screamed, complained, and whined and rolled over three mats, until I decided to get up....30 mins later.

-Mmm, breakfast, and my morning hugs and hellos from ppl

I think taht was short, right...whatever

*Just sneezed again, shiza, hurts like a bitch.*

Well before I sneezed I was gonna say I can't wait for Anime North...Ohh it would be so cool to be a volunteer, but I rather be buying stuff and taking pictures of random strangers and laughing at Kyle. I can't remeber what he was for the one in March. For this one he's supposedly dying his hair and growing it out and straighntening it....Not in that order.

Ohh and my I want to put braids in my hair for the summer, I hope my dad is bluffing about my work schedule cuz I will be pissed. Unless he wants to give me money every month, no way he's goona make me quit. I'll even leave his house, comp or no comp. I'm not quitting it took me forever to get this job and I'm not quitting till I leave for ps. You know how long it took me of job searching to get this job in particular? 7 months, way too long. And yeas I had four other jobs b4 his one, but I like this one. Feel kinda bad that I left Value Village. Ahhh, they were so cool there!

Um, I think I'm gonna go to sleep. I have volunteering tommorrow, for MS WALK. Oh so much fun! Did it last year too. Monica the cooridinator person is cool. Ah yeah sleep, good night!

My link today is to the Youth Center in Ajax, cool ppl and the usually have some cool activities.

(the title) or www.theyouthcentre.ca

If Your Not The One

If you're not the one Then why does my soul feel glad today?If you're not
the one Then why does my hand fit yours this way?If you are not
mine Then why does your heart return my callIf you are not mine Would
I have the strength to stand at all

I never know what the future
brings But I know you are here with me nowWe'll make it through And I
hope you are the one I share my life with

I don't want to run
away But I can't take it, I don't understandIf I'm not made for you then
why does my heart tell me that I am?Is there any way that I can stay in your
arms?

If I don't need you Then why am I crying on my bed?If I don't
need you Then why does your name resound in my head?If you're not for
me Then why does this distance maim my life?If you're not for me Then
why do I dream of you as my wife?

I don't know why you're so far
away But I know that this much is trueWe'll make it through And I hope
you are the one I share my life withAnd I wish that you could be the one I die
withAnd I pray in you're the one I build my home withI hope I love you all my
life

I don't want to run away but I can't take itI don't understandIf I'm
not made for youThen why does my heart tell me that I amIs there any way that I
can stay in your arms?

Cause I miss you, body and soul so strongThat it
takes my breath awayAnd I breathe you into my heartAnd pray for the strength to
stand todayCause I love you, whether it's wrong or rightAnd though I can't be
with you tonightAnd know my heart is by your side

I don't want to
run away but I can't take itI don't understandIf I'm not made for youThen why
does my heart tell me that I amIs there any way that I could stay in your arms

Daniel Bedingfield

Ohmigod Ohmigod (x15)

">
So my day was good. Yessss! I freaked on the driver's challenged cuz the images were so damn blocky, whyyyyyy????? And they expect you to notice the difference between a bush and a human, *assholes*! Yeah so I got 37 out of ? WHo the fuck knows anyways...well we'll noe in a few weeks if I pass, which I probably didn' but Ihad fun and I'm gonna try again next year!!!

On the way home Tom saw me and gave me a ride, so I was happy. He was coming from baseball try-outs. Funny character, but damn him cuz he has a van to drive and amandla has nothing. Um and I found out that he's coming back next year, to get some credits that he requires. Poor him.

And I should have really called that eye doctor place to tell them I wont make it for today (???) or tommorrow's appointment, I dont even noe. lol Oh but I do knoe that we had a meeting for fast for life and same rules applys, as always. It should be mega-fun. Matt is doubting the whole presentations part. He hasnt done it since grade 9, but it still should be the same or even better experience for him. It seems like my whole group of friens are doing the fast. If we have a page for it, it will be full of grade 11's.

Oh and yearbooks tommorrow which means I get to work on the Travel pages and finish the grads blurbs. I'm obvisouly more excited about the Trip page....yessss! But we havent got a meeting together to see what pictures we're gonna put in. I guess I'll have to talk to Mr.K tommorrow.

ANd right now I have to go to work, which reminds me I should call Crystal and email Kyle and ask for my pay stub. *breathe*

ANyways gotta go, ciao!

BTW the pic up there is of my lil friends I met on the trip

Good or Bad News

So, here's what's happening so far...my dad said if I have low mid terms marks I have to quit my job, which means Im back to being broke and asking parents for money....not cool at all, especially since I have G2 est coming up on June 1st and i still need to go to the school, *sigh* let's hope he's bluffing (which he is probably not), but its all good. Still pumped for Fast For Life. This will be me with my cam ....

click click click click dance dance click click party click jab talk click click
laugh click click headbang headbang snore click click headbang click

*Head banging is simply me rocking out with others.* Hee hee so pumped

Oh and about that picture up there, well it was taken when i was in Europe. It's some rich families home, well its much larger then that. You can't see the whole thing. It like a never ending story, but its pretty. Can't wait till next year!

dAVID dAVID dAVID uSHER

Yeah! New David Usher site. I was so happy! Yeah, well not like I have much of a life anyways. Today it was school, tv, computer and homework. Gotta pass Physics class and Math, well math more then anything. Meh, I guess I should be less lazy, but god everything is tiring. I dont know...anyways have a eye appointment on Saturday or Sunday for contacts. Also when I went to the dentist they told me taht my wisdom teeth are coming in! Isnt that great.....yeah u could tell there's nothing really for me t blog about...whatever

Meh, again

Anyways, so events of today:

1. Matt's doing the fast, yesssss!
2. Gotta a lotta hugs today
3. Why did Erin wake up late?
4. Me wore kilt again and someone is gonna take a picture tommorrow
5. I found my good picture-taking-face.....finally
6. Media arts I started my slide, and Mr.L used my as an example, and for othe to refrence to it...yesss
7. Mr. Zheng told me to stop talking, and do work and shouted at me when I got diverted..lol.
8. Nick hitted me, and I spazzed and was like "why?" and hhe's like fine free shot, but he was wearing a jacket and all, Nick is way cool
9. walked home with air had no clue what we were talking about
10. Did hmk and watched tv
11. Almost set off the fire alarm when put cold water into hot pan
12. Sister comes home and also almost sets the fire alarm off, by trying to defrost aburger on a plastic plate, which guess what burn and melted. The house was full of smoke and I was coughing like a banshee.
13. Decided hey let me stop listening to Arden's-emo-child- music and call air and see if she still wants to go for that bike ride
14. Drag sisters along and get Air, go for a forever long bike ride, and was tired in the end.
15. Laughed, took pics, and dropped Air back home
16. DInner, hmk, and more Ardens-emo-child music
17. Basically done everythign, and want to sleep

that was my day

*****************************************

Yes anyways...as u can see my side bar is in its proper position, woOt, but I got rid of my chat box for now....for now. Also I got a counter, yeah me! sO basically all I et to see how many visits I get...(not many I know, thankx ashcroft). Oooo also on the weekend my jeans that were lost for over two months have been found. I was so happy! :D Yeah w/e. I pretty much coasting right now. Have a few things lined up for the week, nothing major except Fast For Life! Yep yep!

Basically that's all I've got to say. ANd yes I stole the pic from Air, but it makes me laugh, so blah! Oh and thx Air to the refrence in ur blog, u know perfectly well its impossible to fix both of my situations....LEEWAY! lol! Meh soon I'll dumb down that advice to make use of it, dont u worry.

What more can I say

">

SO let's ignore the picture for now and lets talk about a serious (???) topic. Ok this is hard for me even though its just a computer and a computer screen and the internet and Air and occasionally other weridos. I don't know why but admitting any type of wrongness or confession or whatever is between the two, makes me nervous. I guess in a way I have to be "true" to myself and kind announce it to make myself better or to relieve the stress off myself. SO lets start this off. First of all let me say that, I have a little book in which I write down whatever I think and/or feel at any given moment, that I think is significant, so that gone help me write my little rant right now.....

Opening: What you think will be the result.

"That sentence can be taken in many ways. In my life in less then a year that quote has been truthful to ts meaning to me. It diverged me from what I thought was right to what end up being completely wrong not that I regret all that has happened in that year period, but I now refuse to be restricted be so-called "guidelines" in life."

(No, I'm not done)

1. It scares me how much still remains in my memory of the past. I wonder to myself will I ever grow as a person, properly if I remained so attached to unimportant past people and activities? I'm pretty sure I won't. SO far I think the whole part as growing as a person is to learn how to move on and forget about silly details of your past, because what's coming in the future will be what's important. Even if I do meet up with parts of my past in the future I'll be able to respect it/them for all they were worth back then without being a complete biotch.

2. I really don't think I feel anymore hatred or anger against people, who I "believed" hurt me. Maybe it was my own perspective on life and how I believed things should be, but I don't feel anything towards or against these indiviuals now. I thank them from the bottom of my heart for being a part of my life and wish them all luck in their futures. I guess I have learned a few valuable lessons that I will take with me into the rest of my life, from them. Not gonna say what, but the lessons do exist.

3. I'm not sure what it was that kept me so attached. One moment I was happy, the next confused, the next was shy and so on. And believe me if you can make me act shy and quiet, u know that I'm basically afraid of what is right and wrong to say to you. I was always afraid of doing and saying the wrong things to you. I don't know why I wanted to be so perfect for you...I also may have been a bit "possessive" (closest word to what I was lookin for). Maybe I could even say that you might have been my first true "love"...... I don't know. All I know is that whatever I felt for you I was numbed by it, that's the truth. Then when you were gone I was totally sidetracked. I wasnt sure if I actually miss you or miss the idea of you. That's what probably helped to screw me up. I can honestly say thank you for making the past year and less (when u were here) of my life fscking awesome.

4. Two very true statements: (1) When you feeling way to happy, know that someting will go wrong and (2) Whatever can go wrong, will go wrong

5. Maybe blogging about my feelings aka hatered, death to, and my upsettedness was totally childish, but those are/were my true feelings, and they're not something I will ever apologize for. I dont care who told whom about what I said or how I acted to such and such, cuz I'm not apologizing for any of my actions. I'll explain myself, but never ever apologize. You'd just have to understand what I have been going through to understand most of what I have said and done.

Now I'm done. None of this stuff will be mentioned again unless something significant comes up (which won't happen)

*I realized at some points I was acting as if those ppl that I'm writing a basic confession to is right there when they really arent. I know they aren't reading this but it takes a load off for me, pretending they are*

Something more cheeri another
day

Do You Think

Do you think its ok to like and want to go out with your co-worker? How many pro to this, (if any) and how many cons.....I'm not quiet sure what may happen in the spring or summer, but he's a possibitly along with others. meh...

Also geetting ready for baseball game should be fun. Leaing soonish, about 4:30pm and I'm gonna take pics....if I dont well lets hope other brought their camera.

Um trying to finish dressing and doing hair and we have run into a conflict...great...oh welll. Byed Bye

Nooooo

My dad wants me to "open my mind" and look at all the other possible careers I could have, which i don't like. His suggestions of things I should do are not the things I'm good at, capable of, or even want to do. He said if I choose some stupid course he wouldn't pay for me, cuz he doesn't like to help ppl make stupid chioices. I'm like thanks, *asshole*. But I really dont want to be a nurse, carpenter, engineer, doctor, dentist,teacher or whatever else he said. It sad that he's telling me to open my mind, when it should be the complete other way around, *mega-asshole* Totally unfair, but I am still gonna take whatever I want to.

But right now, I'm thinking about how good Pogos would taste right about now. Oh, and I took my laptop in to be checked (Kyle did the checking) and when he brought the bad news, I wanted to kill him. I have to send it out to Avertec via Future Shop, so pissed off. But meh I wasnt mad at him for too long. He told me YTV is showing a new anime starting last week, but since i CAN'T watch it for like the next 2 or 3 Friday nights he's gonna tape it for me. Nice of him eh! And also at work today I found out that I'm 5'7...and so is Michelle, Melanie, and Chevonne. Kyle is 5'9 *damn him*

Anyways that's about all, besides I passed my quiz, with my amazing short term memory or maybe even loong term and I had my coffee today, yessssssss. Haha dentist my teeth are gonna get totalled...hee hee..No links today cuz I said so, actually just cuz I dont feel like it actually

Richard Linklater and my so called day

Yep, yep! So I've been reading a whole lotta other ppl's blogs, and realizing "Holy Shit! A lot of ppl have the same issues as moi". So I dont feel like a complete loser. Well I think I've found a better way of describing my problem. Possessive and attached(words borrowed from Jack). I'm not quiet sure if its all such a bad thing, wait thats because Im positive its a bad thing. Well I'm glad that I found the words to describe my "bad thing".

ANyways been looking at the p.s. schools. Lotta of them that I would go to are in the south (Ontairo), which is cool with me. I like the south. Probably taking something in Promotion-ish-ish field.

Also trying to keep on top of hmk and realized I need coffee to do so, and I need a nice shower in the morning which requires me to wake up at 6:15ish. Right now I'm taking showers b4 bed so I can sleep in longer. aRRRGGG, so much work for me to do, math and physics, damn them both.

And I realised today that I did something way beyond dumb.....I had the wrong email up on Blogger for like ever, so taht's preety sad. ALso I saw STeph. W. at her work and she decided to duck away from a customer which was funny only cuz the customer was like after, I saw u hiding from me! ANd I laughed....Good times. Today at work was a bitch, but thats ok. Meh must find new job soon. $8.39 an hour is nice but I dont know, sounds kinda fishy....and I ralized I should really payoff my library bill of $18...lol....eventually.

Guess what Canada's wonderland is on and Im getting my first season's pass ever, Woot!
Anyways need to go burn cds and do hmk.

PS. SORRY i FORGOT TO LINK THE TITLE YESTURDAY, CLICK THERE NOW!!!!

I'm coming over but it never was enough

Grrr....I hate when that happens, when click send and then, oh wait, the server decides hey I decided not to, biotch! Im appalled by my own laptop. Damnit....just u wait! Anyways I had blogged about my coffee incident this morning and about teen Driving Challenge.....but I'm not retyping that hell no, screw this! *Cha* ANyways yeah well its 12am and me tired so let me just insert the last few things I did have in the orignal part of this blog, and that will be all.

::::My Songs Of The Day:::

TBS- A Decade Under The Influence

Anyone (anyone) will do tonight
Anyone (anyone) will do tonight
Close your eyes, just settle, settle
Close your eyes, just settle, settle

I'm coming over but it never was enough,
I thought it through and my worst brings out the best in you

The Used: Blue and Yellow

should've said something but I've said it enough
by the way my words were faded
rather waste some time with you

The Used: Noise and Kisses

Look in my eyes
I'm jaded now whatever that means
By sharing these things
I rip my heart out
It's worth my time
Whatever that means...

SLEEP NOW

Grrrrr

From resturant
Originally uploaded by Mandy No Good.

You cannot understand how pissed mad I am right now...not at anyone, but myself at the moment. I have lost the FUCKING ticket Air gave me for Christmas...I have no fuckin clue where it is. AND THATS WHY I HATE CLEANING MY ROOM!!!!Once you clean your room, u lose where everything is.....AHHHHHH!!!! MUST.....KILL....SOMETHING.........Only I seem capable of losing a friggen ticket I had up till after March Break, but all of sudden it disappears....Fine whatever, its my own fucking fault and I'll deal with it. I'm just not gonna go see a bloody musical, so pissed off.

This was the closet picture I found, to angry, I didnt even have angry pics of myslef, this should do. this dude looks pretty furious scary. Should work, if not I tried

Anyways to an even worst note:
AMANDLA has been pissed off once again by moop's. Air or Jack if u'd like the definition of "moop's", ask! Moop's piss me off so much. Anything I do basically since beginning of grade 11 till now I get "moop's"..ahhhh, head hurts so much, full of unnessacary.,Stupid "moop's".

Like just the basic give me moop's:

• my hair,
• walking down a hall,
• walking in a certain area,
• sitting down,
• go train,
• CW,
• summer,
• may,
• march,
• april,
• and feburary,
• mac's,
• english,
• french,
• lunch,
• library,
• underwear,
• pictures,
• hats,
• food,
• drawing,
• music,
• music videos,
• artists,
• stores,
• toys,
• necklace,
• vans,
• notes,
• janitors,
• 4/30,
• bridges,
• 7/11,
• brushing teeth,
• nicknames,
• bracelets,
• my "habit",
• my 2nd "habit",
• school activities,
• surfing,
• p.s.,
• baseball,
• dresses,
• Durham Centre,
• Mall,
• movies,
• shoes,
• big bitchy one,
• absence from school,
• cars,
• other ppls hair,
• ajax,
• pickering,
• toronto,
• napoleon,
• stupid stoners,
• windbreakers,
• my friends houses
• round tables,
• borrowers,
• late bus,
• phones
• slacking,
• lateness,
• skipping,
• mountain dew,
• taco bell,
• mod,
• lake,
• dancing,
• bass,
• guitar,
• listening to music,
• walking to ajax from pickering,
• plays,
• Dude-with-the-hair
• tables,
• hugs,
• posters
• photography,
• late nights,
• me crying, then it gives me another excue to cry
• resturants,
• my lying,
• yearbooks,
• sleeping at my moms house
• birthdays,
• my coldness,
• white pine,
• Denny's
• Blizzards
• Pickering Library
• incorrectness of amandla
• GNU,
• bowling,
• timmy's,
• stabucks/starburst,
• jaywalking,
• mascara,
• blue,
• bobby pins,
• deteriating jeans,
• spectacles,
• and I can't think of anymore....long enough list i GUESS.
  
• i'M DONe.... that took out most of my anger.
• i should be ok, tommoroow, does this mean my happy streak is over.....YES, YES IT DOES! So piss off!
  

Go Richard Linklater GO!

Well let's start off with what happens at lunch (scenerio):
{air} hey, shimbo, coming for fast for life
{shimbo} yeah, just havent found her yet to get the sheet
{air} get it
{shimbo} ok guys I'll see you later
{amandla} damnit, now it wont be fun
{air} why?
{cpt. kate} cuz u to are both stupid, I dont even know whats going on or why!!!
{amandla} how many times do I have to explain: *insert semi-long explaination here* .....and that is why
{cpt.kate} fine I see, but w/e
{air} you'll see you guys will be friends again
{amandla} ha! Ya right, its called avoidation. Arggg! It's not gonna be fun! Cuz u guys will have to split urselves, and there will be uncomfortable moments
{air}no you guys, are friends, you'll make up
{amandla} *convinced that air lives in imaginary world with fuzzy bunnieNs* No we wont have fun together, or talk, or make up, incase you havent notice amandla is not friends with shimbo.
*amandla believes that air is optemist....FREAK*
Yeah so that's more or less what happened today at lunch.

And I just realised when Im at my dad's house I dont go down for dinner unless I'm called, if I'm not called I dont go anywhere, cuz it seems....*sniffle sniffle*...that they don't really want me........Waaaaaaaa!!!Ok, I'm sorry no more drama queen acts for today....I think....maybe not....Muahahaha, okay fine I'm sorry!

And I found out that I couldn't go to the dance, so me sad.....waaaaa....no this is not drama queen act this is crybaby act, sucka! :D Yeah I wont do that, ever again. And today I'm also looking up career options, since I have no life. And planning out my weeks to come, yeah!!!!

And I have now started saying things randomly, well ok for a while now, and I have a list:

• Good Times...
• Damnit
• ....to the MAX
• uhna uhna uhaaa
• Booyah!
• Sucka
• I am so cool to the max
• megaloser
• fucktard
• ashcroft=asshole
• you know what!!!....I love you
• Ohmideargod!
• Random 80's songs
• Totally
• Failure
• Dankashe
• Ja=Ya
• Ni=No
• No, taht's just because you sux!
• Love ya
• Air=Erin
• Half Asian Crew=Ro's and Jaira's Crew
• ND Crew=Eurotrip crew
• Uber=Tres=Very

I think that's it. Air will remind me what I miss as usual.

Anyways. Thank's to Jack Safey (my lil buddy blogger) he gave me a site to my fav director in the world, who directes my fav movies aussi. That will lead you to his profile, where u get to see which movies he's done. He's done a hell of a lot too. NAYWAyS a movie called Scanner Darkly is in post-production now, and it also stars Keanu Reeves....tres cool, eh. So yeah when it comes out next year go see it! By the way my title is the directors name.

Um so yeah I'll get around to editing that convers with me and Hippy Chick (Abby), eventually. And yeah now I'm gonna be spending the majority of my time in the library, trying to pass my fucktards of courses, instead of hanging i the cafe at lunch, but wait what's that you say.....What about food? What about it! I live of coffee and sugar-coated food, and other things bad for my health....so Blah! And I have officially lost Erin's ticket from Christmas, it was safe until I decided...lets clean my rom and did a lil rampage....damnit!!!!! DAMNIT DAMNIT!!!!! mE AND MY SHENANIGANS!!!!! DAMNIT!!! I'll countinue to look for that now.....PLEASE NOTE EVERYONE WILL DIE TODAY, CUZ I SAID SO.....GRRR

I feel the pain right HERE

Still, have a happy streak...is it possible to have a happy streak, even though I feel like I'm going to cry? Ugh, my day was actaully good, but me and this girl I just recently met were talking a bit of a heavy topic, in my opinion. More about her and that later.
Well had a physics test thought I did ok on the non-diagram drwaing part. Math going nowhere. Media sky-rocketing and Chem, so-so. Rodolpho's and mine punching war is still dragging on. Julez had to stand upfor me the other day when I was totally getting pushed over, "Dont hit girls..." Got the Fast FOR Life forms, but I think I lost it, whoops.
Today after school went and got my first ever kilt and knees socks, yeaa I joined the school slut team, yesssssss. No offense, air. Then came home only to leave an hour or less to go t the mall with Erin and Katy. Played DDR (duh), didnt go to green earth, got a Napoleon Dynamite poster 9me) and Family guy poster (dyl) .
The best part was talking to James, who works at the store Men Are From Mars...he was all alone and I felt bad so I waved and walked in and started to talk to him. It didnt hurt that he was cute either...juss saying.
Oh and I gave up on my Euro blog, basically I was with Air thw whole time so the stories are the same, except for St.Paty's day, cuz i noe the truth!
And I work for 12:30pm tommorow, and its early so i should go to sleep....should. Kyle suppose to bring me Naruto tommorrow and i HAVE to ask him if he can get me and Dyl into Sin City. We want to see it so bad.
Tommorro i could go to the youth after hours instead of movie....and i have sunday off, yes!
Ok now its like 3am oh well. Sleep is for megalosers, not really.
I guess on monday I'll edit my convers with Hippy Girl and then post it,
everything needs a bit of editting, right, meh screw you
Conver in General: How much i have lost in my life, How much ppl sacrifice with no awknoldegement from others, laws of atttraction and how u should keep true to urself, I swear to gawd I almost cried, cuz like the convers is so....emotional and stuff, made me think a lot...